When Your Past Is Present

True or false? “You can’t change the past!”

This statement is made by many who have experienced painful things in their past. The pain may have been experienced in childhood, in a previous or current marriage, or in some other kind of relationship altogether. Analogous to the “Get-out-of-jail-free” card in Monopoly, this partly-true saying serves as a “Get-out-of-difficult-emotional-work” card for many walking wounded.

The statement is true in part, but not fully. That we cannot change the facts of the past is obvious. What happened – whatever happened – happened. We cannot undo what was done, no matter how desperately we might want to. The funds embezzled by the business partner and squandered on drugs are unrecoverable. The lover who left has not even looked back. The deceased loved one is gone. The fact that you were sexually violated is as irreversible as it is horrible. Indeed, we cannot change what happened.

We don’t live with the facts of damaging life-events alone. We carry away from those events some things that are not immutable. What do we carry away besides the facts? We walk away with our understanding or interpretation of the facts. We carry our conclusions about ourselves and others based on our – sometimes faulty – interpretation of our experiences. We also carry our decisions about how to live in light of our understanding of those facts. Recognizing this difference between the facts and our understanding of them and choices based on our misunderstanding of them is invaluable. The facts are immutable; but many things associated with the facts can be changed, and should be changed.

When we are unable to recognize the difference between the changeable and the unchangeable things, we are set up for one of two serious problems: unnecessary misery or unnecessary exhaustion. The famous Serenity Prayer addresses our situation eloquently: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Consider three essential issues in this prayer. First, we must find peace (serenity) regarding certain unchangeable things – things about which we desperately desire change. Indeed, we need God’s help (grace) to find that serene place of acceptance of what feels absolutely unacceptable. Second, we need courage (perhaps more accurately stated, God’s power released in us) to change even the changeable. Sometimes the “doable” is only done with the help of God and others. That which falls into the category of “changeable” is sometimes terribly difficult and/or frightening; thus, we need courage to do what must be done to effect the change desired. Finally, the prayer affirms our need for God’s wisdom to know the difference between these two – the changeable and the unchangeable. It is not obvious. Our minds can trick us; we can be deceived. We may imagine that we can change the “unchangeable” if only we try harder, manipulate more craftily, or beg more intensely. Of course, this results in our unnecessary exhaustion – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. On the other hand, when we file things in the “unchangeable” category which are in fact changeable, we can live many years in misery unnecessarily, and even with unnecessary levels of misery. If only we had realized that courage and effort would have paid off in time… This prayer for “wisdom to know the difference,” prayed until it is fully answered, can keep us from unnecessary misery or unnecessary exhaustion.

We can agree that the facts of the past cannot be changed. What then can be changed? Sandra Wilson, in her excellent book Hurt People Hurt People, identifies four things that can and must be changed, if I am to be changed. They are:

1. My perceptions of my experiences.
2. My conclusions about my experiences.
3. My choices in response to my experiences.
4. The life patterns I have formed as a result of my experiences.

All of these are indeed changeable, but not necessarily obviously changeable, nor easily changed, and rarely changed over-night.

Much of the family dysfunction in our culture is rooted in these very issues. Wounded people, instead of finding healing, pretend to be well. It may not be too difficult to keep up the pretense in public, but at home we are found out. We are not as well as we want people to think.

If you’ve had painful experiences in the past, and you’ve concluded, “nothing can be done about it,” please consider this “second opinion.” If an honest assessment of your life indicates that your past is showing up in the present, seek the help needed. If disproportionate anger, distrust, suspicion, or defensiveness is evident in present relationships, this may be a sign that your past is pathologically present.

You can “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). This is true Christianity. Jesus accepts us just as we are, but He never intended that we stay just as we are. He wants to transform us. And the “Good News” of His Gospel is that no one is so badly broken as to be beyond the power of His change; and conversely, no one is so good as to be beyond need of it. Not only will you benefit in this transformation Jesus will bring to you, but those closest to you will be blessed, too. You will probably need help in this transformation – help from books, lectures, and specific relationships. Seek until you find all the resources God has for you.

If you would consider a professional counseling relationship, you might provide a potential helper with a copy of this article. Request that he or she read it and tell you if they think they could help you sort out these issues and effect change in your life. Finally, don’t resist investing money in this process. Most of us readily invest money in education to make a better living; too few invest in counseling to make a better life. Proverbs 4:7 says, “Though it cost all you have, get wisdom, get understanding.” Even in this point – especially in this point, I would encourage prayerful wisdom in making such investments. Invite God to lead you to put the past in the past.

Calculated and Cultivated Lies Are Our Present Truths

Everything that we are currently being taught is a Big White Lie, and this has been the case for well over a century, or from the dawn of the Western European era on the world stage. Europeans have made some astounding and breathtaking accomplishments over the past two centuries in technologies and in many other interdisciplinary fields of study. However, this increase in carnal knowledge has come with a great cost. Racism, in its present form, was introduced into the human psyche with the rise of Western Europeans in human history. Fear and hatred were giving a significant boost in spirit with the rise of Western Europeans.

From the foundation of this Western European introduced racism on the world stage, all sorts of other methods and reasoning for human separation has been born. There has never been a perfect harmony between different peoples in all of human history for one reason or another, however, Western Europeans brought a more vile and sinister type of disharmony between the Earth family of peoples on the world stage than any ages of humans have ever known and experienced before. New religions were created for the sole purpose of separating people, destroying the human connection with the Universe, and installing offices of control for a select group of elites. They plundered the Earth and made themselves rich off of the blood and tears of others. They annihilated entire regions and many islands of its people without laying a hand on them by the diseases that they spread to them.

From the very start of Western European exploration, they looked at the peoples and the cultures that they encountered and created a Big White Lie about everything as a means of recreating the world in their own image and likeness. They blinded themselves to things that were in plain sight because what they saw did not fit within the European image of the Universe that they were creating. They encountered evidence of great civilizations of the remote past and promptly whitewashed them to fit within their developing portrait of the world that they were devising. They love to talk about ancient Egypt and deny the evidence of the people who created that culture (the ancient Egyptians are not the same people who inhabit the land of Egypt today that are intruders mainly of Middle-eastern origins).

The purpose of today’s educational system is not to create thinkers but believers in a hidden religion disseminated by the superiors whose goal is to create a truncated artificial intelligence that can be easily manipulated and controlled by them. The only values and standards that are being taught in the educational system are those approved by the aristocrats of Western European heritage. These controllers firmly believe that the only valid values and standards to abide by are those that they say are so. They look upon everyone on the outside of their guarded circle as merely being a primitive embryonic niggardly ooze that can be effectively mastered by fear and falsehood.

These people are the architects of our present truths that are carefully crafted by a lie laid upon a lie that after a time becomes the illusion of the truth. They tell us that every imagination of our mind is an open game. That we can kill at a whim. That hatred and violence is the human norm. That we can disregard our nature and crave the same sex, lust for tainted flesh, and adulterate our essence by taking on the attributes of another. That the god of this world is them in the guise of self-expression, political correctness, the financial system, technological advancements, and globalization.

The only truth that these self-appointed privileged finds acceptable is the power that lies and deceits give them over the common horde. They despise everyone, including themselves, which is why they want to kill everything. With contempt and scorn, they sit in their ivory chairs and manipulate the currencies of the nations in a way that best pleases them. They laugh at the knowledge that dimwits the world over believe that their money has any actual value, knowing full well that its only worth is what they (the orchestrators of doom) say it is at any particular time.

To these aristocrats; we, those that are not one of them, are no more than a horde of Australopithecus that desperately need their guidance and care. In reality, they want to kill well over ninety percent of the human population. In the minds of these aristocrats, this is simply a management decision to downsize their slave class and make the Earth a better place for them to live. They tell the truth in such a way as to cause the unwise to believe that they are being told a lie. They take genuine knowledge and ax-murder it into ignorance by changing a word or the meaning of a word in it.

This is our present truth which is all a Great Big White Lie that was conceived and is targeted to empty the planet Earth of all humans except for a handful of people of Western European heritage and their allocated number of peasants, which are also European in heritage. Perhaps it will not be such a bad thing if these rulers in their secure places were to achieve their goal. The planet Earth will certainly rejoice to be rid of so much human misery, hatred, and confusion that now sorrows it, and all of the planets other life forms will rejoice as well to be safe and secure of human harm.

Being Present And Aware

Seeing the moment for what it is, is important for how we relate to it. Without construing false pretenses or imagining outcomes, we let the moment be just as it is without further interpretation. To let the moment exist how it is, to be present with it, allows us to not only fully experience it, but to be part of it. We create a separation from our reality when we pull ourselves into our heads; our thoughts destroy our interaction with it. We become someone who is relating by memory, with fear of the outcome, or are simply too lost in thought to be present. On the other side of things, we can also be too wrapped up in our emotional state to fully see what is truly happening around us.

When we are preoccupied by our emotions, relating to them rather than to the moment, we can never be fully present. In relation to the moment, we can exist purely from a state of no withdrawal, no ulterior motives, no internal mental or emotional battles, and most importantly simply allowing ourselves to be where we are. We very often choose to pull out of the moment. Why? Because we find our thoughts are more important, we give them a value over our existence. In addition, we sometimes rule our days by our emotions. Often, the two of them interacting and filling our day up, and we never fully come to peace with where we are. We miss the moment.

We have lost the value of experiencing the moment for simply what it is. We let ourselves get lost in ourselves, in what we think is important, and choose to exit reality. We may think we are doing a good job at being where we are. But take a moment, relax, and ask yourself how much of the day or even this very moment have you really felt present? Why do we hide from the moment, why do we pull ourselves away so often? It is like we are fixated on anything but being fully present. However, the truth is that when you can be present and not be pulled in many different directions by thoughts or emotions, all else falls away and the constant struggle you feel can dissipate.

The importance you placed on figuring things out, on worrying over the future, on delaying your responses out of fear–all of this is nonessential, because the moment does not require this. The moment exists as part of us; therefore, there is no future, no past, no struggle, no aftereffect, or even anywhere to get lost in, because we have not complicated the moment with our ideas, perceptions, memories, fears, or anything else. When we are present and fully engaged in the now of the moment, we can see clearly and feel what is important. We can understand what really matters for us at that time. We can relax and become ourselves without stress, without managing or pulling ourselves in different directions. By letting ourselves stay grounded with where we are, we are present. We are connected and therefore need nothing else. All the big problems tend to fall away because we no longer give them so much importance in our lives. We can then see them for what they are with nothing else added to them. Let go of yourself long enough to be present. Engage in the moment. Feel, see, and think about where you are and nothing else. Life’s purpose is not about struggle or always doing something; rather, it is about being where you are.